Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I Made Another Teacher Psycho


I was recently informed...recent as in about five minutes ago, that my Classical Studies professor attacked a nurse after receiving psychiatric treatment. This is interesting because the man is the human incarnation of Winnie the Pooh. He's very round and pudgy, kind of like those little Fisher Price toys, but a cute-ish looking older man, even though I think he's only in his early 50's. He looks like a Lutheran pastor at a more conservative church...that's really the best description I can give.

I would not have a third major in Classics if it weren't for this man. Granted, I didn't learn a thing, but he made it very easy for me to work hard memorizing, take the test, and then forget everything. At the time I was working the overnights, so I often came in late and disheveled, or not at all; claiming all kinds of things from: I was in a car accident that left me with two flat tires, someone didn't show up for their shift, my roommate fell down the stairs and broke his leg, my kitten was throwing up all night and brought to the veterinarian at 6am where we sat until 10:00AM, etc. Most of the time I did feel guilty for such exaggeration, buuuut...I had to pass four semesters of Latin! HAD TO inorder to get my English degree.

Why didn't you just choose Spanish, or German, or Norwegian, you ask? I should have. I should have taken Spanish, but by the time I realized it, it was too late, and I was on a very tight semester by semester schedule. Dropping Latin or not passing even one semester with a C would have meant no graduation. This particular professor made this true feat of nature occur: Semester 1 - C, Semester 2 - A, Semester 3 - A, Semester 4 - A. I don't know Latin. I know a couple phrases, and seriously, I mean a couple.

Now I learn, the man's probably losing it, at least a little. A similar thing occurred in my high school. I might have tortured her on a very small scale - stealing staplers, markers, pens, CD's, hall passes. I whistled like a bird in the back of class, unplugged her computer monitor, and on the last day of class threw a bag of marbles in her classroom. Nothing major or that would have caused any pain, and nothing she could even attribute to me, but when I learned she had a stroke, I couldn't help but feel I had somehow contributed. Delusions of grandeur, I suppose, but here's the strange part...She was my Spanish teacher.

I feel a little guilty. I know on a grand scale I didn't do anything, the Latin teacher doesn't know I ever lied (or made fun of this weird sucking sound he made after he had some dental problems), the Spanish teacher never knew I was laughing at her and not with her...was there really any harm done? I would think no, but both have had serious mental issues. I think the only reason I may suspect any contribution on my own part is because these are the only people I've really chosen to bug, and the Latin teacher I didn't really like doing it, it was a survival mechanism.

Ok, I've gone on enough. I've confessed my possible guilt. Hopefully things remain balanced in my Karma world.