Ode To MyCrazies...

A woman came into the hotel and asked to use the phone. I couldn't figure out why, but I was really annoyed by this. She continued to gab on her phone "trying to get a ride." I tried to ignore her at first, going about my business, but I overheard her say something about her husband pushing her in the car and trying to run her over. This should have made me feel badly for the lady, but I just thought, "Figures."

When she finally got off the phone, unsuccessful at finding a ride, she came up to the desk and started thinking out loud. Technically, she was talking to me, but I didn't see how I was going to be able to conjure up the name of some long lost drinking buddy who could come and retrieve her. I nodded and mmmhmm'd, told her the city bus comes by across the street, but that's the best I can do. I don't like when people cajole me into answering or engaging. Statements like, "I wonder who I could call..." make me fly off the handle in my head.

We went through this whole process two more times, the third time she talked to me directly about her husband. They were gambling, her and her husband, when she decided to go meet her boyfriend, so she walked across a muddy field, then realized she didn't want him to see her dirty, so she needed a ride home. I'm assuming somewhere in there is the part about the car and the running over.

She asked if the coffee was free. I said, "For guests, yes, the coffee is free, but go ahead."

Clearly, I was being a bitch, but in due time will we see why.

She started talking about wanting a job like this, doing laundry. I told her winters Winters are pretty slow so the manager has us do it, but in the summer he sometimes hires someone. She continued on about working and liking to clean, so I gave her an application, and said he'd call if he needed someone.

She got a hold of her son and he came to get her. She thanked me and said goodbye.

I felt guilty, feel guilty, for being such an asshole.

Now, let's break it down, shall we?

What did Amy learn from this tiny instance?

1). Amy attracts crazies - this is example number 5 in about a year and half.

2). Amy gets screwed over by crazies - this would have been example number 4, there's one still in limbo.

3). Amy knows in an instant, the crazy ones, but often lets them lure her in.

4). They always engage me in conversation first, before anything else. Even when I am short with them, they continue to engage, that's when I know.

5). If given the time, they will wear me down. This is the epiphany part. I can only be short for so long, then I join the conversation, and then it's over, they're free to suck me dry. Damn my need to speak. I know that if this woman had asked for $5 for a cab, I would have given it to her. This is a problem. This is where my defensiveness in the beginning came from...this woman was fully capable of asking things of me as front desk clerk, and there was nothing keeping her from asking something of me as a person. I knew it the second she came in, but I gave her a chance to say anything else, and she said, "Can I use your phone?" I thought if she makes it quick, I'll know she realizes this is an inconvenience and change my tune. She talked for 8 minutes, I had to remind her that people need to get through to make reservations.

6). Luckily, this time, I saw the signs. In telling me every detail of her thinking at the moment, she let me in on all the clues.

A) She gambles
B) She has a husband
C) She has a boyfriend
D) She's an alcoholic (this one's more subtle, she asked old friend to pick her up, when she couldn't, they decided to get together for drinkS, which she hadn't done in a long time.
E) She has no job.
F) She has no friends willing to pick her up.
G) She flings her dirty laundry around in public to strangers.
H) She has no money for a cab (this one's the weakest one, but combined with the others, lends a hand to the evidence).

7). The guilt I feel about not helping her out, is pretty significant. Like, I wish I could do it over. Even though I know, the alternative is me giving her money for a cab. Here lies epiphany number 2. I will either spend the rest of life getting f'd over by crazies, or I will feel guilty about not getting f'd over by crazies for the rest of my life. I figure, I feel guilty for a reason. And it's so stupid, but the parable from the freaking bible that I remember most often is the one that song about Jesus coming to visit is based on. In the song the "singer", Reba, I believe, waits and waits for Jesus to show up, but keeps getting someone else at her door. She gets all depressed when Jesus doesn't come, but then he says he was all the people she let in. Really, this has nothing to do with Jesus, but letting people in seems like the right and nice thing to do. However, sometimes it's going to hurt me. I will struggle with this forever.

The End.

The King of Rock N' Soul

The KING OF ROCK AND SOUL was having MIDNIGHT LOVE with HER MAJESTY when ST. ELSEWHERE swallowed the JAGGED LITTLE PILL that would bring to the CROSSROADS at the end of the LEMON PARADE, where MUDDY AND THE WOLF were playing DOUBLE DUTCH. They were ORPHANS: BAWLERS with NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE and EVERYTHING IN TRANSIT.
with EYES OPEN, he watched as they pointed to the DEAD LETTER OFFICE and said, “EVERYTHING YOU WANT.”

The saint’s HOPES AND FEARS of RECOVERING THE SATELLITES and THE CROWN JEWELS relied on THE LAST DJ to ride in on a COMFORT EAGLE and start BRINGING DOWN THE HORSE of THE GLASS PASSANGER, or death.

upon entering the office, he saw VIVA LA VIE OR DEATH AND ALL HIS FRIENDS riding a ROLLERCOASTER and WINCING THE NIGHT AWAY. death’s face was a MELLOW GOLD, like that of walter matthau in THE ODD COUPLE. he saw people climbing a WHITE LADDER and wondered if, since EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING IT, WHY CAN’T WE? He considered yelling out to them, but knew the CALL AND RESPONSE would come from a LITTLE VOICE. instead, he put up his HISTORY FOR SALE and began DREAMING OUT LOUD of the eagle, and THESE STREETS, running on a CONTINUUM through ECHOES, SILENCE, PATIENCE AND GRACE.

The eagle had flown all night through the GARDEN STATE, and arrived with the dj UNPLUGGED AND UNDRUGGED to play a CONCERT IN CENTRAL PARK.

The saint rejoiced, “i prayed for YOURSELF OR SOMEONE LIKE YOU to come and help me!”

the saint replied, “WE SING, WE DANCE, WE STEAL THINGS. now, let’s get those jewels BACK INTO YOUR SYSTEM.”

the dj played to DAMN THE TORPEDOES and the devil turned to SAWDUST. the dj handed the jewels to the saint, “SOMETHING TO REMEMBER ME BY.

the saint reliep, “IN YOUR HONOR, i will give these to the king.

and with a WAVE, the dj mounted his eagle and said, “GOODNIGHT AND GO.”

MY NEW GAME: NAME THOSE ARTISTS

i was BORN IN THE U.K., where THE MOST OF THE ANIMALS are PALE, but A DAY AT THE RACES will LIFT you BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK. BARON VON BULLSHIT RIDES AGAIN, and there’s no telling when LIL’ RED RIDINGHOOD will pull into the lead.

the MOTORCADE OF GENEROSITY will pull you down MERMAID AVENUE, where NEWS OF THE WORLD will ACTIVATE those DUST BOWL BALLADS you’ve been sending from STATION TO STATION, reminding you that LONELY RUNS BOTH WAYS and that the DARK SIDE OF THE MOON is more akin to THE DARK SIDE OF LIFE, LOOSE ENDS, AND SCATTERED SONGS.

DON’T DO ANYTHING that NAKED WILLIE wouldn’t do! he’s lost in ELECTRIC LADYLAND, with THE BEGINNING STAGES OF... SOUTHERNPLAYALISTICADILLACMUZI. in other words, UNNAGUMMA, at least that’s what the PRESSURE CHIEF called it.

i would follow the path of the STARLITE WALKER, and avoid the BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE.

TATOO YOU, and not ANOTHER SIDE OF BOB DYLAN, or it will be the END OF AN ERA.

ONCE, i knew THIS DESERT LIFE meant you were a NINO ROJO, but now it just means you write SLEEP AND WAKE-UP SONGS for the COLUMBIA RIVER COLLECTION, ABOUT A BOY with a SURREALISTIC PILLOW, who sang LIVE AT WIMBLEY, THE GASLIGHT, and THE WIRELESS.

THE GREATEST HURTS are to those TRAV’LIN’ LIGHT; tryin’ to figure out WHAT’S GOING ON, and if those RELICS will STILL BILL into BRINGING IT ALL BACK HOME.

AT THE POINT of no return i’ll finally ask, “if I’M NOT THERE, can i be HAPPY?”