I discovered yesterday, much to my dismay, that I have been unconsciously, and now consciously scoping out future husbands. I have been a staunch advocate of singlehood since the dawn of my time, so I feel forced to attribute this only to the presence of a vagina, and all that comes with it.
Crude? Perhaps. But gimme a break here, Folks, this is a game changer. A couple of months ago, I was under the spell of what I lovingly refer to as "pure idiocy," aka, a large family, with four kids. If one, why not four, live a little, right? I was out of my freaking mind. And now this. THIS.
Every member of the male species is under scrutiny, many more briefly then others, but it's getting pretty ridiculous. Celebrities are on the table obviously, but I have even taken to googling their slightly less attractive, but closer to my age, younger brothers. Some random tall guy was looking at the river from our fire escape, and I wanted him to turn around...so I could see his face, of course.
AND, on top of that 'of course,' another: Of course, realistic possibilities, meaning not strangers, not people who live across the country and who are not famous, are not an option. That is why I attribute this to a vagina issue.
From here on out, until this little spell commits suicide, I will and must refrain from being, and this is the only time I will reference this in my life, "Drunk in pub-lik." It is absolutely, positively vital that I be successful, or the next thing I know I'm going to be holed up in some trailer with four little tykes screaming for their supper while my hick and I shape tinfoil into hats, awaiting Zeeton's orders. You laugh, but this is serious. Abortion suddenly becomes the only rational choice there, and I would just assume avoid that, too.
Pray for me.
1 comment:
Your Illustrations and Blog posts are very well Put Together. I have to put both blogs in my reader to catch all your posts. I Agree...Wait for the right one to come along. Even if it takes awhile, Follow you instincts.
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