The KING OF ROCK AND SOUL was having MIDNIGHT LOVE with HER MAJESTY when ST. ELSEWHERE swallowed the JAGGED LITTLE PILL that would bring to the CROSSROADS at the end of the LEMON PARADE, where MUDDY AND THE WOLF were playing DOUBLE DUTCH. They were ORPHANS: BAWLERS with NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE and EVERYTHING IN TRANSIT.
with EYES OPEN, he watched as they pointed to the DEAD LETTER OFFICE and said, “EVERYTHING YOU WANT.”
The saint’s HOPES AND FEARS of RECOVERING THE SATELLITES and THE CROWN JEWELS relied on THE LAST DJ to ride in on a COMFORT EAGLE and start BRINGING DOWN THE HORSE of THE GLASS PASSANGER, or death.
upon entering the office, he saw VIVA LA VIE OR DEATH AND ALL HIS FRIENDS riding a ROLLERCOASTER and WINCING THE NIGHT AWAY. death’s face was a MELLOW GOLD, like that of walter matthau in THE ODD COUPLE. he saw people climbing a WHITE LADDER and wondered if, since EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING IT, WHY CAN’T WE? He considered yelling out to them, but knew the CALL AND RESPONSE would come from a LITTLE VOICE. instead, he put up his HISTORY FOR SALE and began DREAMING OUT LOUD of the eagle, and THESE STREETS, running on a CONTINUUM through ECHOES, SILENCE, PATIENCE AND GRACE.
The eagle had flown all night through the GARDEN STATE, and arrived with the dj UNPLUGGED AND UNDRUGGED to play a CONCERT IN CENTRAL PARK.
The saint rejoiced, “i prayed for YOURSELF OR SOMEONE LIKE YOU to come and help me!”
the saint replied, “WE SING, WE DANCE, WE STEAL THINGS. now, let’s get those jewels BACK INTO YOUR SYSTEM.”
the dj played to DAMN THE TORPEDOES and the devil turned to SAWDUST. the dj handed the jewels to the saint, “SOMETHING TO REMEMBER ME BY.
the saint reliep, “IN YOUR HONOR, i will give these to the king.
and with a WAVE, the dj mounted his eagle and said, “GOODNIGHT AND GO.”
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
MY NEW GAME: NAME THOSE ARTISTS
i was BORN IN THE U.K., where THE MOST OF THE ANIMALS are PALE, but A DAY AT THE RACES will LIFT you BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK. BARON VON BULLSHIT RIDES AGAIN, and there’s no telling when LIL’ RED RIDINGHOOD will pull into the lead.
the MOTORCADE OF GENEROSITY will pull you down MERMAID AVENUE, where NEWS OF THE WORLD will ACTIVATE those DUST BOWL BALLADS you’ve been sending from STATION TO STATION, reminding you that LONELY RUNS BOTH WAYS and that the DARK SIDE OF THE MOON is more akin to THE DARK SIDE OF LIFE, LOOSE ENDS, AND SCATTERED SONGS.
DON’T DO ANYTHING that NAKED WILLIE wouldn’t do! he’s lost in ELECTRIC LADYLAND, with THE BEGINNING STAGES OF... SOUTHERNPLAYALISTICADILLACMUZI. in other words, UNNAGUMMA, at least that’s what the PRESSURE CHIEF called it.
i would follow the path of the STARLITE WALKER, and avoid the BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE.
TATOO YOU, and not ANOTHER SIDE OF BOB DYLAN, or it will be the END OF AN ERA.
ONCE, i knew THIS DESERT LIFE meant you were a NINO ROJO, but now it just means you write SLEEP AND WAKE-UP SONGS for the COLUMBIA RIVER COLLECTION, ABOUT A BOY with a SURREALISTIC PILLOW, who sang LIVE AT WIMBLEY, THE GASLIGHT, and THE WIRELESS.
THE GREATEST HURTS are to those TRAV’LIN’ LIGHT; tryin’ to figure out WHAT’S GOING ON, and if those RELICS will STILL BILL into BRINGING IT ALL BACK HOME.
AT THE POINT of no return i’ll finally ask, “if I’M NOT THERE, can i be HAPPY?”
the MOTORCADE OF GENEROSITY will pull you down MERMAID AVENUE, where NEWS OF THE WORLD will ACTIVATE those DUST BOWL BALLADS you’ve been sending from STATION TO STATION, reminding you that LONELY RUNS BOTH WAYS and that the DARK SIDE OF THE MOON is more akin to THE DARK SIDE OF LIFE, LOOSE ENDS, AND SCATTERED SONGS.
DON’T DO ANYTHING that NAKED WILLIE wouldn’t do! he’s lost in ELECTRIC LADYLAND, with THE BEGINNING STAGES OF... SOUTHERNPLAYALISTICADILLACMUZI. in other words, UNNAGUMMA, at least that’s what the PRESSURE CHIEF called it.
i would follow the path of the STARLITE WALKER, and avoid the BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE.
TATOO YOU, and not ANOTHER SIDE OF BOB DYLAN, or it will be the END OF AN ERA.
ONCE, i knew THIS DESERT LIFE meant you were a NINO ROJO, but now it just means you write SLEEP AND WAKE-UP SONGS for the COLUMBIA RIVER COLLECTION, ABOUT A BOY with a SURREALISTIC PILLOW, who sang LIVE AT WIMBLEY, THE GASLIGHT, and THE WIRELESS.
THE GREATEST HURTS are to those TRAV’LIN’ LIGHT; tryin’ to figure out WHAT’S GOING ON, and if those RELICS will STILL BILL into BRINGING IT ALL BACK HOME.
AT THE POINT of no return i’ll finally ask, “if I’M NOT THERE, can i be HAPPY?”
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Get out the tools, we're buildin' an ark.
Not only is the Grand Forks/Fargo area in danger of flooding...we're talking the river is normally about 15-20 ft, and is now approaching 45 ft with a crest not due until next at around 53 ft and the dikes can (hopefully, it hasn't been tested) hold about 57ft , BUT we got two-three inches of rain yesterday and the day before, and last night we got 6 inches of snow with more on the way! I can't believe I live here. I just can't believe it. If it floods I'm leaving everything I can't fit in my car behind and driving away. Good riddance.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Grey Garden Link
Ok, so I can't find the whole video, but here's a clip of "Little Edie" singing. Notice: "I'm losing quite a bit of weight, but I feel perfectly terrible."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJBankObN0s&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJBankObN0s&feature=related
Grey Garden
Everyone should watch this wonderful documentary on "Big" and "Little" Edie. It so frickin' awesome...
"Little Edie: "This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand. Because I don't like women in skirts and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape. So I think this is the best costume for today. "
So frickin' awesome.
"Little Edie: "This is the best thing to wear for today, you understand. Because I don't like women in skirts and the best thing is to wear pantyhose or some pants under a short skirt, I think. Then you have the pants under the skirt and then you can pull the stockings up over the pants underneath the skirt. And you can always take off the skirt and use it as a cape. So I think this is the best costume for today. "
So frickin' awesome.
Friday, January 23, 2009
ObamaNation
Ok, so I packed my back pack and we left for the airport. We made it to Minneapolis and tried to catch the first flight to DC. There were 42 people in front of us to fly, but somehow, none of them showed up so we caught the first flight and got to DC by 10AM. We rode the Metro to Kyle's. Joe, his girlfriend Jess, and his friend Damien had driven from New York and we all crammed in to Kyle and his wife Rachelle's studio apt.
Every time I travel anywhere, I end up with huge blisters on my feet. This time, they were caused by slipper socks. Never wear socks with rubber grips on the bottoms when you have to walk any significant distance. Also, I was wearing slippers with thin rubber bottoms, which apparently do not offer much support. Needless to say, by the time we got to Kyle's my feet were feeling sore. We took the train uptown and ate at a Thai restaurant, stopped at a liquor store then went back to the apt where we all drank until we passed out by 10:00PM. All of us (accept Kyle) had been up for more than 30 hours, so a couple shots of tequila, some Woodchucks, two glasses of champagne, some Belgian liquor, and some wine later and we were out cold.
We woke up at 7AM. Kyle, Dan and Rachelle had tickets, so they left before the rest of us with the hopes of getting there when the doors opened at 9. The Metro was virtually unusable the whole day, so we all had to walk. By 9, Joe, Jess, Damien and I left to head to the Mall. We left the apt and there were a few people walking down the sidewalk presumably heading our direction. The further we walked the more people we came upon. When we had walked about 8 blocks, we were in a constant stream of "crowd". Everyone was being filtered to an intersection where people with tickets went straight and people without tickets turned left. We went straight. Then we turned and went left. The problem here was that there was a tiny woman with a large voice, facing us screaming, "If don't have tickets go to the right!" What no one realized is that she meant HER right. Luckily we figured out her blunder when a fully armed soldier hollered, "Ticket holders only!! Do you have a ticket?!" We walked back right passed the screaming lady who was still telling people to got to the right. Luckily we did not end up in the tunnel with the those who didn't get in.
The thing about large crowds is there's a certain level of trust that is imparted on those in the crowd. We assume that people know what they're doing. That if the majority of the people are walking in a particular direction, we assume that to be the right direction. This is 100 ways wrong. Most people do not know where they are going or why they're going there. We cut through the side of a building, which turned out to be the Holocaust Museum and happened to put us right where we needed to be in relation to the rest of the crowd. We cut right down the middle and wound up in front of the Washington Monument in perfect view of the megatron screen. We were far away from the actual event, about a mile, but we could see better than most because we were up from the screen and could see right over every one's heads and the trees. In fact we could see better then my pals with tickets.
Now, remember, we just walked about 40 blocks and I have terrible blisters. We eventually would have to walk back...
We stood outside from 10AM to 1PM. It was about 25 degrees and windy, but once in the shield of 2 million people, it wasn't so bad. People boo'd for Bush, cheered for Arnold, laughed at Cheney, and hesitated before deciding she wasn't so bad and clapping lightly for Barbara Bush. Beyonce was there, and P. Diddy. People cried. It was incredibly overwhelming.
All the roads were closed, so we walked right down the middle of the interstates and highways. I'm kicking myself hardcore for not buying any of the cheesy trinkets. I love cheesy trinkets. I'll post pictures of some of the best ones later on.
We looked for food, walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked. Eventually found McDonald's to the rescue. By this time I was walking like a cripple. Full on two foot shuffle. I'm talking homeless, partially handicapped shuffle. I drained my poor blisters when we arrived home and vowed to never stand again. We hung out and read the news for awhile, waiting for our friends to return and for the Metro to clear out. We left at midnight for the half hour ride to Joe's car, which was parked at a station outside of town. Five of us piled in to the Subaru with two guitars and headed for NY. We got there by 6AM and slept until Noon. We had planned to hang out for the day and see Walt Whitman's house, but Dan received a phone call saying his dad had a heart attack earlier that morning and would be having a quadruple bypass surgery. Joe brought us to the airport we flew from Laguardia at 4:30 to Memphis to Minneapolis to Grand Forks and got in about midnight.
The End.
Pictures coming soon.
Every time I travel anywhere, I end up with huge blisters on my feet. This time, they were caused by slipper socks. Never wear socks with rubber grips on the bottoms when you have to walk any significant distance. Also, I was wearing slippers with thin rubber bottoms, which apparently do not offer much support. Needless to say, by the time we got to Kyle's my feet were feeling sore. We took the train uptown and ate at a Thai restaurant, stopped at a liquor store then went back to the apt where we all drank until we passed out by 10:00PM. All of us (accept Kyle) had been up for more than 30 hours, so a couple shots of tequila, some Woodchucks, two glasses of champagne, some Belgian liquor, and some wine later and we were out cold.
We woke up at 7AM. Kyle, Dan and Rachelle had tickets, so they left before the rest of us with the hopes of getting there when the doors opened at 9. The Metro was virtually unusable the whole day, so we all had to walk. By 9, Joe, Jess, Damien and I left to head to the Mall. We left the apt and there were a few people walking down the sidewalk presumably heading our direction. The further we walked the more people we came upon. When we had walked about 8 blocks, we were in a constant stream of "crowd". Everyone was being filtered to an intersection where people with tickets went straight and people without tickets turned left. We went straight. Then we turned and went left. The problem here was that there was a tiny woman with a large voice, facing us screaming, "If don't have tickets go to the right!" What no one realized is that she meant HER right. Luckily we figured out her blunder when a fully armed soldier hollered, "Ticket holders only!! Do you have a ticket?!" We walked back right passed the screaming lady who was still telling people to got to the right. Luckily we did not end up in the tunnel with the those who didn't get in.
The thing about large crowds is there's a certain level of trust that is imparted on those in the crowd. We assume that people know what they're doing. That if the majority of the people are walking in a particular direction, we assume that to be the right direction. This is 100 ways wrong. Most people do not know where they are going or why they're going there. We cut through the side of a building, which turned out to be the Holocaust Museum and happened to put us right where we needed to be in relation to the rest of the crowd. We cut right down the middle and wound up in front of the Washington Monument in perfect view of the megatron screen. We were far away from the actual event, about a mile, but we could see better than most because we were up from the screen and could see right over every one's heads and the trees. In fact we could see better then my pals with tickets.
Now, remember, we just walked about 40 blocks and I have terrible blisters. We eventually would have to walk back...
We stood outside from 10AM to 1PM. It was about 25 degrees and windy, but once in the shield of 2 million people, it wasn't so bad. People boo'd for Bush, cheered for Arnold, laughed at Cheney, and hesitated before deciding she wasn't so bad and clapping lightly for Barbara Bush. Beyonce was there, and P. Diddy. People cried. It was incredibly overwhelming.
All the roads were closed, so we walked right down the middle of the interstates and highways. I'm kicking myself hardcore for not buying any of the cheesy trinkets. I love cheesy trinkets. I'll post pictures of some of the best ones later on.
We looked for food, walked and walked and walked and walked and walked and walked. Eventually found McDonald's to the rescue. By this time I was walking like a cripple. Full on two foot shuffle. I'm talking homeless, partially handicapped shuffle. I drained my poor blisters when we arrived home and vowed to never stand again. We hung out and read the news for awhile, waiting for our friends to return and for the Metro to clear out. We left at midnight for the half hour ride to Joe's car, which was parked at a station outside of town. Five of us piled in to the Subaru with two guitars and headed for NY. We got there by 6AM and slept until Noon. We had planned to hang out for the day and see Walt Whitman's house, but Dan received a phone call saying his dad had a heart attack earlier that morning and would be having a quadruple bypass surgery. Joe brought us to the airport we flew from Laguardia at 4:30 to Memphis to Minneapolis to Grand Forks and got in about midnight.
The End.
Pictures coming soon.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Adventure 1, 2009
I believe this first post of the year just might be a good one.
On Saturday I learned I had Monday and Tuesday off, which happened to be the days Dan the Man was going to DC. Yes, Washington DC. For the inauguration. Yes, Barack Obama's inauguration.
By Saturday night I had work off Wednesday, a place to stay and a spot in the car that would be going to New York, a little detour to avoid the full flights out of DC.
I left for Fargo Sunday at Noon to see the Wailers (of Bob Marley and the Wailers) at a music festival. My job was to be at my house at 3:00AM, when Dan would come to pick me up for our 4:50 flight. At 2:00AM, Dustin went in the ditch just outside of driveway, going approximately 1 mile per hour...maybe two. By 2:24, we were out of the ditch and finished the drive. I arrived home at 2:50AM, and began packing.
Luckily, Dan didn't arrive until 3:15, leaving me a bit more time. Plus, We were flying standby, and I didn't want to have any checked luggage, so I only brought my backpack which means I didn't have much to pack.
I think this story is so good I have to write the rest tomorrow. Sorry!
On Saturday I learned I had Monday and Tuesday off, which happened to be the days Dan the Man was going to DC. Yes, Washington DC. For the inauguration. Yes, Barack Obama's inauguration.
By Saturday night I had work off Wednesday, a place to stay and a spot in the car that would be going to New York, a little detour to avoid the full flights out of DC.
I left for Fargo Sunday at Noon to see the Wailers (of Bob Marley and the Wailers) at a music festival. My job was to be at my house at 3:00AM, when Dan would come to pick me up for our 4:50 flight. At 2:00AM, Dustin went in the ditch just outside of driveway, going approximately 1 mile per hour...maybe two. By 2:24, we were out of the ditch and finished the drive. I arrived home at 2:50AM, and began packing.
Luckily, Dan didn't arrive until 3:15, leaving me a bit more time. Plus, We were flying standby, and I didn't want to have any checked luggage, so I only brought my backpack which means I didn't have much to pack.
I think this story is so good I have to write the rest tomorrow. Sorry!
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